RPC FUNCTIONS ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST FUCKING THING EVER SHAT OUT BY THE DEVIL HIMSELF!
WHY THE EVER-LOVING FUCK would any goddamned moron think it's a brilliant idea to call functions remotely?
It's FUCKING SLOW, it's a COMPLETE CLUSTERFUCK to set up, it's a NIGHTMARE to debug, and it makes your code look like a pile of absolute DOGSHIT.
Remote Procedure Calls? More like Remote Pain in the Ass Calls, you fucking idiots!
You're sitting there thinking "oh hey, I can call a function on another machine! That's so fucking cool!" No, it's NOT cool. It's a goddamn disaster waiting to happen. Network latency that makes you want to punch your monitor? CHECK. Serialization bullshit that breaks everything? CHECK. Error handling that makes you want to fucking scream and cry? TRIPLE FUCKING CHECK.
JUST DON'T FUCKING DO IT.
Keep your functions LOCAL, you dumb fucks. Keep them SIMPLE. Keep them WORKING. And for the love of all that is holy and pure, stay the FUCK away from RPC before it infects your codebase like a fucking virus.
RPC = REMOTE PAIN CREATOR
RPC functions are like dating a psychopath - seems exciting at first, but eventually you'll regret every second and want to die.
Thank you for coming to my fucking TED Talk. Now go write some decent fucking code that doesn't involve calling functions across networks like some kind of masochistic, self-hating developer who enjoys suffering.
RPC IS CANCER. RPC IS DEATH. RPC IS THE END OF ALL THINGS GOOD.